"Yoga Hosers" and "Mechanic: Resurrection" - What a World We Live in Where Sausage Nazis Are More Interesting Than Jason Statham

   

   Writer and director Kevin Smith is a polarizing individual, whether he means to be or not. He's opinionated and his films are sometimes crude and/or offensive. His filmography has met harsh criticism over the years and his outspoken recognition of this has become a part of who he is today. I happen to be a huge Kevin Smith fan, not just as a director but as an overall person. I've never met the guy, but I've listened to a host of podcasts and interviews and other things to at least form an opinion and I think he's a cool dude. I'd be friends with him, for sure. He's a laid back guy who loves the medium of film. It's funny to listen to him talk about his career and how he's reached a point now where he really doesn't care about critics, because he knows they'll crap on whatever he makes. He's forsaken the big studio approach in order to tell stories that he himself would want to see. His latest batch of movies have this audacity about them that is refreshing and fun, despite whatever flaws they might have. I've seen just about every film he's made and I haven't run into one that I didn't enjoy.

   His latest film Yoga Hosers is the second film in what he calls his True North Trilogy. His movies all have multiple connecting threads and this film is more of a spin off from the first film in this trilogy, Tusk. Both movies are horror/comedies that are truly like no other. Tusk is about a sleezy podcaster seeking a good story and a lunatic that wants to turn him into a walrus. For real. It's nuts. We're introduced to the protagonists of Yoga Hosers in Tusk, the Colleens. Teenage convenient store clerks Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie, (played by Smith's real-life daughter Harley Quinn Smith and Johnny Depp's real life daughter Lily-Rose Depp), are the focus in what is an extremely weird, fun, and somewhat relevant film. Yoga Hosers in a nutshell is about the Canadian teenage besties, the Colleens, as they traverse teenage life. They both are glued to their phones, capturing every waking moment via social media. They have crushes, they hate school, they hate working at the convenient store, and they are huge yoga enthusiasts. They're just two typical teenage girls who just want to hang out, play music and, well, be teenagers. The Colleens are in every way a personification of the current generation today. Pretty straight forward premise, right? Well, it takes a turn for the weird.

   Come to find out, back in the day during WWII, there was a regime of Canadian Nazis who spawned a self-proclaimed fuhrer named Andronicus Arcane (Ralph Garman) who created an army of soldiers only one foot tall and made of bratwurst, aptly named Bratzis. These Bratzis try to overtake the convenient store where the Colleens, who instead of going to a senior party (a big deal to the sophomore besties), they get called into work, and are then forced to battle the little guys. It's utterly ridiculous, and I had a blast with it. Kevin Smith himself plays the Bratzis. After not being able to find someone to do it, the man took it upon himself to play these little guys, shaving off his iconic beard of 20+ years in order to wear the prosthetics, sacrificing for his art, lol. That's a true story. Anyway, so these Bratzis, who when smashed gush out sauerkraut, are devious little creatures that jibber-jabber in German-esque nonsense. It's so dumb that it's hilarious. Not only that, but the Colleens battle them by harnessing their yoga skills taught to them by their yoga master Yogi Bayer, played by Justin Long (who I felt stole this movie. He's absolutely hilarious). Johnny Depp is also in this movie, reprising his role from Tusk, and he's fantastic.

   The movie is an oddball of a film; a cult midnight flick with lower-quality effects and cheesy scares. It's so bad, it's good. I attended a Fathom event for this movie where they showed an introduction by Kevin Smith talking about the movie and his love for the characters and the story he created. I enjoyed that because he was well aware of what he was making, and it was evident that he was inspired and wanted to make his own art, regardless of how absurd it sounded. I commend that, and I find his bravery in making these ridiculous films inspiring. In a year that has been mostly plagued by the mediocre blockbuster, it's these independent films with original ideas that are shining through the muck. Yoga Hosers is in no way a perfect film. The acting is pretty good, especially from the two leads, and the writing and direction was pretty good. The sum of all its parts makes for a silly, fun time out to the movies. Having the main heroes of the film be teenage girls is a really awesome thing, and I think that aspect can really speak to a younger female audience. I strongly recommend checking it out, just know going in that this movie is just plain silliness. Support the independent film scene, people!


ALSO THIS WEEK

   

   Jason Statham returns as Aurthur Bishop in Mechanic: Resurrection. I'll be short with this review because really it warrants no lengthy review, trust me. In a nutshell, Bishop is brought out of hiding in order to perform three kills that would spare the life of the woman he falls for. As its whole, Mechanic: Resurrection is an action-packed mess; a fun mess, but a mess all the same. Jason Statham has become the quintessential action start of this decade. Where the 80s had Stallone and Arnie, we have Statham, pumping out action films one after another. Not all of them good, but all of them fun. This movie is right up there with the rest of them. Look, if you want to see a cheesy, over-the-top action movie with ridiculous stunts and Jason Statham beating the crap out of people, then check this movie out. Let me warn you though, the story is bland, and the acting is mediocre (save for Jessica Alba who in all honesty was horrible in this movie. I mean, a surf board could act better than she did in this film. I was genuinely surprised how awful she was). As a champion of the cinema, I almost feel tarnished to say skip this movie and check out literally anything else. The action is the only worthwhile aspect of this movie, and when it involves Jason Statham, you know it's high-quality action. Other than that, it's meh.