Review: "Kong: Skull Island"

    How many times does one property have to be remade before audiences get tired of it? That's the question studios seem to ask nowadays as they push that line to the breaking point. Of all the properties to continuously get remade, King Kong has probably made the list for the most remakes. Dating back to the 1930s, it seems like every couple of years we get a new King Kong movie. Well, the latest iteration opens today with Kong: Skull Island, a film that...man...where to start...well, it's a movie that...hmmm...I got it--its a movie that most...no...sheesh, what can I say? It's a movie that was made and is now in theaters. Yeah, let's start with that.

   I'm gonna keep this review brief because I don't think I need to go on for days about it. Kong: Skull Island takes place in the 1970s just after the Vietnam war. A group of scientists discover an uncharted island and commission a military escort to go and survey the island, claiming that there might be undiscovered potential to further the human condition. This group of scientists is led by a crackpot monster-hunter named Bill Randa, played by John Goodman. He believes there are monsters in the world, and of course no one believes him. His true agenda for going to Skull Island isn't to find the cure for cancer, but the monsters he so passionately believes in. After a run in with a huge perpetual storm that hides the island, they land and soon learn that there are indeed residents on the island in the form of giant creatures, Kong being the first of which that they run into. As the group gets separated, the military dudes led by Samuel L. Jackson try to track down ammunition to take out Kong, while the scientists, a photographer (Brie Larson) and a tracker (Tom Hiddleston) try to make the pick up point where the relief choppers are suppose to pick them up. We meet locals of the island and a WWII army vet shot down and stranded (John C. Riley) along the way. Oh, and there are a ton of monsters and they fight each other.

   This movie is so over the top. The monster stuff is really, really cool. This is probably my favorite depiction of Kong, who is freaking massive in this movie. He's well over 100 feet tall, dwarfing Peter Jackson's Kong who was only like 25 feet tall. Kong in this movie is king of the island and the action scenes he's involved in are pretty awesome. As for everything else, well...not so much. This movie is packed with high-caliber actors, and every single one of them give either really bland or over-the-top performances. It's hilariously bad. It reminded me of the old monster B-movies of old, where the acting was bad but it didn't really matter because the only character you worried about was the monster. This is exactly what it was like for me watching this movie. There is literally no character development for ANYONE. All the characters are there to serve one prupose: monster fodder. The only human character I was really interested in was John C. Riley's marooned fighter pilot. That character was stranded on Skull Island for 25 years, and Riley brings a lot of the humor in the movie. But other than that, every other character was bland, straight-forward, and predictable.

   Kong is the only reason why you should see this movie. His purpose for existing is explained and he's really the only character that has development, believe it or not. When he was on screen he had my full attention. He is by far the best thing about the movie. The CGI was pretty impressive, and the various other creatures on the island were pretty cool. There is a particularly unnerving scene involving a giant spider that was extremely cool. It almost had a horror movie vibe to that scene. In the end, I just wished there was more monster action to offset the human stuff, because man...zzzz. After watching Kong dismantle monster after monster, it really sets up a unique concept that is alluded to in the after credits scene, so be sure to stick around for that. When all is said and done, this movie surprised me, and not in a good way? Well, sort of. The monster action was surprisingly really cool, but the acting (from such a great cast) was mediocre at best. If you're looking for a perfect movie to just go and shut your brain off while watching, this might do that for you.